I have been learning quite a bit about Borderline Personality Disorder from reading the book called, “Sometimes I Act Crazy.” I was given this book when I was hospitalized about a month ago and I was first given this diagnosis. The comorbidity of BPD and Bipolar Disorder does not give a very bright outlook on life.
However, I have learned that there is a reason for a lot of the “quirks” that I have that I could not find reasons for with just my Bipolar diagnosis. Knowing that there is a reason for how I think and act doesn’t excuse it, but at least knowing this reason helps me re-evaluate my thoughts and decisions.
I have been discussing my dual diagnosis in a Facebook group I have been involved in for a long time now and I have also joined a psych forum that I have been posting in regularly. I have learned quite a bit by interacting with others who have these dual-diagnoses or with the loved ones of people who do.
There has definitely been a lot for me to think about lately but it all boils down to several key decisions…
- My relationship is no longer helpful for either of us. Honestly, I think it is more of habit to keep the relationship but what is the price of comfort? I am ready to move on and I need to focus on myself.
- I am looking for a job in New Mexico. Currently, I am living at my grandmother’s house and I am hoping that I can get a job that will allow me to stay in the area but get my own place. If I can’t get a job and my own place in the next 8-10 weeks, then I will have to move to my mom’s in Vegas where my residence will last a little longer.
- I would love to be able to hold down a full-time job, get the freelance business with Melissa up and running, and also (perhaps) offer up ESL classes to the community relatively cheap just for extra pocket money
I feel like if things are meant to happen so that I can stay in New Mexico, I would really like to stay here. I visit with my new psychiatrist (the first time I am seeing a mental health professional since I got out of the hospital a month ago) tomorrow morning and I am looking forward to discussing my new dual-diagnosis with him, perhaps learning more. I may discuss medications, how I’ve been feeling on LESS medication, and how I feel being in New Mexico rather than in Vermont so maybe they could help me find a place to live here.
Well, I am working on finishing an article on Textbroker and then I will go do my relaxing for the night which includes writing in my more personal journal, coloring, etc. I have a routine at night that I believe has helped me sleep much better.
Something I’m Proud Of: Offering my crochet services to people I care about, like my cousin’s wife who needs cancer caps, my grandmother who needs sweaters, and my grandmother’s friend who just lost a family member due to suicide.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
- Friends dropping by unexpectedly
- Being able to sleep in late for the first time in a very long time
- Christmas movies on TV all day