Tag Archives: family

Staying Focused

I have applied for several jobs here in my new town… the town I hope to settle down in permanently. I have been applying for everything I can hope to get, but there have been a couple that I feel I would be extremely happy with. One in particular would be great. It’s a part Member Services position and part Communications Representative. The Member Services is pretty much just customer service for members of the electric co-op. The Communications Rep duties include publishing the annual calendar of events for members, publishing the newsletter, handling the scholarship, and even writing press releases among other things. I handle many of the duties already with several of my freelancing clients so I hope I get the chance to interview for the position.

I have been visiting often with a couple of friends and yesterday they took Grandma and me out sightseeing which was fun. She was adamant about not going but they talked her into it which I’m glad they did as otherwise she would’ve just stuck around the house all day and moped because it was my dad’s birthday.

I think I need to call to make an appointment with my doctor sometime soon though as I’ve been feeling a tingly, sharpness in my feet sometimes… Almost like they are falling asleep but worse. It actually woke me up tonight. It has gradually gotten worse over the last week and a half to two weeks and I’m getting a little concerned.

There have been a lot of major updates to my freelance website. In fact, the only pages that I still have left to update are my Portfolio page with links to online samples of my work, and the Testimonials page where I will post some feedback that I’ve received from some of my clients. My writing rates, editing rates, contact, about, and blog pages are all up. I do need to write and post a new blog entry though just to make sure it’s current. Check it out HERE.

Well, I should get to work. I want to get a lot of writing done today as I really need the money at the moment. I have goals!

Something I’m Proud Of: Everything about ME!

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  • Friends
  • Family
  • Fresh starts

I am so happy!

Everyone here seems to be happy.

Quay enjoyed his time watching sports (hockey on Saturday and football on Sunday) while drinking some good beer. He even got to go to a brewery in Burlington on Saturday and taste some beers he hadn’t before. So he is happy.

My brother has been happy for a couple of weeks now as he has been hanging out with a girl and they seem to like each other. Every time he gets home from seeing her he is through-the-roof happy and you can always tell when he’s texting with her or something. So he’s happy.

The dogs have snow in the backyard to play in, bones to chew on and each other’s ears to tug so they are happy.

Corin was happy when I fed her on Friday but I think she’s a little annoyed at me that I cleaned her tank today. But I’m sure she’s probably still happy.

But me? I wrote an article today, which I’ve been trying to do for days and just haven’t been able to force myself to, so I feel relieved at that. And I feel a little stressed with the articles I still have to write, since two of my clients haven’t written back to me since the day they awarded the project to me. I feel tired as I have been having trouble sleeping. In fact, I didn’t get to sleep until 6 this morning. I shouldn’t have slept so long so that I could try to go to sleep earlier tonight but we’ll see what happens.

But do I feel happy? Yes, I do. I am happy I was finally able to write. I am happy that the men in this house are happy. I’m happy that it finally stopped snowing. I’m happy that it’s almost Christmas. I’m happy that… my mom and Larry are coming to visit in APRIL! Yup, I said it. My mom is coming to visit us. I am so happy!


Something I’m Proud Of: Writing an Article

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  • Happiness
  • Corin
  • My Husband

It’s a Hum-Drum Life

So few things have changed regards to my health. My moods have still been random, however the highs have not been quite so high and the lows have not been quite so low. I have still been having seizures as well. However, I am seeing three doctors in the next two days and I’m hoping to get several things resolved at these appointments.

First up is my neurologist tomorrow. I need to know why I am getting these seizures. The first neurologist wrote in my paperwork (didn’t tell me, just wrote it in my paperwork) that my seizures were caused by stress and would be better resolved by a psychiatrist than a neurologist. But how am I supposed to know these things if I’m not told? I’m not a mind reader! However, my psychiatrist believes, based on what my husband says these seizures look like and how I react to them, that they are neurological in nature and not psychogenic. So we need to get to the bottom of this with the new neurologist that I see tomorrow.

Then on Thursday, my first appointment is my psychiatrist, and I have a feeling he is going to want to reduce my risperidone and increase my lithium, because the hospital a few weeks ago said that my lithium level was low. Other than that, I will just be catching him up on what the neurologist says tomorrow so I can try to get everyone on the same page.

My third and final appointment is just after my psychiatrist appointment and is with my primary care doctor. I meet with her at my psychiatrist’s office because of a contract they share and I love that convenience. If all goes well and I get answers from my neurologist on Wednesday, I will be giving her an update on things and she will be letting me know how my thyroid is doing and whether my thyroid med dosage will be going up, down, or staying the same.

So that’s all the health stuff. Things have been rather stressful in my home life as well for a couple of reasons, although they are good reasons. One, my husband got a promotion at work and is now the Program Director of a homeless shelter that not only gives homeless people a place to stay but helps them become and stay housed. He started as a Case Manager so this is a big step up for him. It’s taken some adjustment for me to be able to handle him having to be available all the time like he has to but I am getting there. Two, my brother moved in with us. He came all the way from Las Vegas. It’s really nice having him here, especially when Quay isn’t, so I’m not alone if I have a seizure. But I have to get used to living with another person again. And soon, he will have a job and will be gone during the day and I will be alone sometimes again.

But that’s what’s going on here with me. I will update again after my appointment tomorrow to let you know what happened. Gnight, all!

I Miss You, Dad

Dear Dad,

I can’t believe it’s been five years since you passed away. It feels like you’ve been gone forever and yet at the same time it feels like it happened just yesterday. I miss you… everyday.

I’m still in school. I’m within a year of graduating though, if you can believe it. I know it’s only been 10 years. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my degree once I graduate but at least I can say I accomplished something significant. I also accomplished a lot of stupid student loans, too. I wish I hadn’t convinced you to let me get those loans that you co-signed on. They are going to be the death of me. I wouldn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me about the responsibility it would require to pay them back after school and I didn’t do like you said and read the fine print on the loans. I should’ve listened to a lot of things you said.

I wish you were here to see Quay and me together. Quay has grown as a person, as I’m sure I have, and we’ve also grown closer. I know you knew that he was the one that day in the hospital but it took me awhile to realize it. To be honest, we were in Vermont before I really knew he was the one. I knew he was because he didn’t take me picking up my life and moving across the country to be near his family and his hometown lightly. He treated my decision with respect, and he treated me with respect. He has always treated me with respect, even when I’m being an irrational bitch because of the Bipolar Disorder you graced me with. I truly love my husband Dad, and I thank you for picking him out for me.

I miss Mom, Allie, and Chris back in Vegas. I wish I could see them more often, and for better reasons. The last time I saw them was because Grandpa Mayer passed away and I was there for the funeral. I drove Grandma Mayer from Deming to Vegas and back again so she could be there without driving the freeways or taking transportation she wasn’t comfortable with. I had to help in some way and that was one way I could help. I hope you and your dad are hanging out up there the way I wished you could’ve down here.

I know you and I had our differences, Dad, but we were more alike than either of us cared to see until it was too late. Now, the only things I have left of you are pictures, a tattoo to memorialize you, and your temper. I really wish that I could remember more of the good times we had together but only one sticks out in my mind. It’s the time you wouldn’t tell us where we were going until we got there and when we got there it was Knott’s Berry Farm. Or maybe it was the time we went to the San Diego Zoo all dressed the same and Chris got lost but someone found him for us because he was wearing clothes just like ours. Or maybe it was my high school graduation when I could really tell you were proud of me. I guess I remember more of the good times than I thought, huh?

I really miss you, Dad. And I wish everyday that I could just get to say goodbye in person, like I never got to do. I will never forgive myself for not being there, Dad, but I hope that you can forgive me. I love you, always.